5. The Sauna - There is nothing more fun than sitting with my bare ass on a cracked, warped piece of wood, in a dry hot room.
EXCEPT, sitting with my bare ass on a cracked, warped piece of wood, in a dry hot room with a bunch of old naked men...
4. Bird Legs. There is nothing sexier than a man with bulging biceps, and a stacked chest that can barely be contained by a shirt... sitting on top of a set of legs skinier than a 12 year old bulimic.
3. Computer Linked bikes - gosh I miss the days of racing with my buddies at the gym. Nothing quite as much fun as trash talking about how I just fake beat him on a fake course on a fake bike. Of course I didn't have anyone I worked out with, so I just trash talked the computer biker.
2. The free towels - Whenever I accidentally dripped water down my chin from the water fountain, I always had a free towel close at hand. It was a good thing I never sweat enough to use it for that.... because it'd be gross to use a sweaty towel on my lips.
1. The TVs!!! After I left my Globo Gym, my streak of 1,035 episodes of Oprah ended. Brett Farve has nothing on me.
Globo Gym... I <3 you.