5 Things I Miss About my Globo Gym

5. The Sauna - There is nothing more fun than sitting with my bare ass on a cracked, warped piece of wood, in a dry hot room.

EXCEPT, sitting with my bare ass on a cracked, warped piece of wood, in a dry hot room with a bunch of old naked men...

4. Bird Legs.  There is nothing sexier than a man with bulging biceps, and a stacked chest that can barely be contained by a shirt... sitting on top of a set of legs skinier than a 12 year old bulimic.

3.  Computer Linked bikes - gosh I miss the days of racing with my buddies at the gym.  Nothing quite as much fun as trash talking about how I just fake beat him on a fake course on a fake bike.  Of course I didn't have anyone I worked out with, so I just trash talked the computer biker.

2.  The free towels - Whenever I accidentally dripped water down my chin from the water fountain, I always had a free towel close at hand.  It was a good thing I never sweat enough to use it for that.... because it'd be gross to use a sweaty towel on my lips.

1. The TVs!!!  After I left my Globo Gym, my streak of 1,035 episodes of Oprah ended.  Brett Farve has nothing on me.

Globo Gym... I <3 you.