Monday, May 6, 2013

Yeah, I'm a Dad

10 ways I can tell I'm a Dad to a 2.5 year old girl:

10.  I know how to wash a mermaid doll's hair.
9.  The laceration on my left foot is in the shape of Cinderella's hair bun.
8.  Somehow, I have Tinker Bell's greatest hits on my iPhone.
7.  Soggy chicken fingers aren't that bad.
6.  I don't flinch when I get "lotioned" up all over my hairy legs.
5.  I have an opinion on whether it should be monkey or princess panties.
4. I know to wipe front to back.
3. I consider rocking exercise.
2. I'm really happy.

And the number 1 reason I know I'm a dad to a 2.5 year old daughter:

1. I just finished pushing a Barbie doll in a swing for 10 minutes at my daughter's insistence.

Friday, April 26, 2013

You Get What You Pay For

I've been doing Crossfit for 3+ years.  It is the longest I've maintained a healthy weight and physical prowess since college.  I've blogged about many things... inspiration, motivation, the effectiveness of Crossfit.  But one thing I've known but never written about is the value of Crossfit 540.

We all know how great our environment is at 540.  Many of us have gained new, long term friends.  Other have picked up business partners, and clients.  But all of us have been welcomed with open arms and enthusiasm by existing members.  This is well known and frankly, kind of expected now :).

As I said, I've been doing this for a while.  In that time, I visited almost a dozen other boxes.  Some good, some great, and a couple.... not so much.  Most of them I've kept up with via Facebook or by following the blog.  None of them follow's programming.  At 540, we never have, but it seems making up your own WODs is the norm among affiliate owners.  But what if the owner sucks at it?  Making up the next WOD is an extremely important decision made every single day!

Which leads me to my point.... our hidden gem at 540 is the programming.  From the Widowmaker, Jelly Legs, and the Sevens.... to the 12 Days of Xmas WOD and The 540; our workouts are consistently fun, exciting, nerve wracking, but most of all... effective.  Due to various circumstances at times, I've had  to modify my workout routine away from 540's programming.  Consistently, I lost strength, endurance, and overall performance.  Needless to say, I'm back to doing T's WOD so long as my schedule and injury allows.

So, you see, it is really simple.  Do the damn WOD.  Then enjoy the fun and results you get from it.

I wrote this last night but forgot to post it.  Then I see T's blog post today about doing the WOD.... weird coincidence.  Either that or I'm a suck up.  I'll never tell which it is :)

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Crossfit Crazies

Warning:  I am about to make fun of everyone at Crossfit gyms... including myself.  It is supposed to be a funny reflection on our microcosm of our culture.... so if you are easily offended... go read somebody's blog about their last marathon.

I was thinking today about the different "cliques" in a Crossfit gym.  I think I'm uniquely qualified to comment because I think I've been in all of them.  I still have friends in each of them.

The "Oh Shit" Clique:
Mostly comprised of new members who are scared out of their minds the moment they walk in.  They've heard too much about Crossfit to walk away... but since they have no idea of the "schedule", they show up at a random time.  They see 30 people sweating profusely, cursing, jumping or lunging around a spartan gym... while "All I Do Is Win" is pumping out at 110 db.  There is but one thought... "WTF?"  Luckily, they glom on to each other during Foundations class and relate to each other about their nervousness.  Each one laughs self-consciously as the moves they are doing as part of the training hurt like a mother... and create an ungodly soreness the next day.  The good ones come back and put themselves through the stress all over again... until they "graduate"!

Unfortunately, this leads to doing their first real Crossfit WOD.  They are just like every other person in the class that is supposed to know what is going on... except they don't.  What was a clean again?  How do I set up for that move?  How much does the bar weigh?  Except now they feel like they are IN THE WAY... of the LEET (geek speak for Elite) athletes.... and they are.

The LEET (Elite) Clique:
You know who you are.  If you go 15 minutes without talking about your last PR to someone, checking out a new video from Spealer, or reviewing last years standings at the Games; you get jittery and have to do a quick Mobility WOD from Stark.  Your mind is focused on your "strategery" for today's WOD and how you will "destrominate" your last score.

You and your "inner circle" all hang out in the same spot at the same time at the box.  And you NEVER, EVER, call it the "gym".  Your gym (whoops... Box) bag contains the following:  the "post WOD" protein shaker full of the most LEET recovery powder, two Rogue speed ropes, weightlifting shoes, knee wraps, weight belt, Junk Brand headband, 4 lacrosse balls, a roller foam, a PVC pipe, your own barbell and KB, and a little person to count your reps and hold you to "CF Game" standards.  Oh, I almost forgot... your spare Lululemon shorts.

You only talk to other "Leet" people before the WOD, but when you finish 15 minutes before everyone else, you walk around encouraging the mere mortals.  Luckily, you have all that extra time to practice your muscle-up or HSPUs or Snatch.  Just make sure you do it loudly for everyone else to hear.  Finally, collapsing on the floor is a requirement.

The "Big Middle":
Yawn.  Sorry, but you guys are boring to write about, but you sure pay the bills and the other cliques thank you.

The "I'll Make Up My Own Damn WOD":
The "I've been coming for a long time and have this injury or not sure I like this WOD" crew.  We like to hang out on the periphery and take it ALL in.  But please don't expect us to jump all gung ho and shit into the WOD.  That looks like actual hard work and we are here to WOD... but it's an ALT WOD... cause you know... we are injured and stuff.

Hell, we might even take out my protein shake out half-way through YOUR WOD and walk around encouraging you.  That way you aren't sure if we actually kicked your ass in the WOD, or we are a crappy trainer, or just a D-Bag.  (Hint: it's the last one.)

Finally, we talk about how the last WOD really hurt and the doctor said no more squats, but we told him to "f-off".... but in reality, we are using his advice to rationalize never do heavy back squats again.

Which clique are you?