Monday, March 7, 2011

Top 10 Things You'll Never See at Crossfit

We are different.  I like that about Crossfit and it's the main reason our results are so dramatic.  It also means our box does not look like much when you first encounter it.  For example, when I walked into the new box yesterday, I thought it looked great.  Then I realized to a non-inductee, it must have appeared unfinished.  "Where the hell is everything?"

Top 10 Things You'll Never See in a Crossfit Box

10.  A magazine rack.  Ever tried to do a squat clean or a box jump while reading GQ?

9.  A broken elliptical machine.  Hell even if we had one, it would never break because no one would use the boring piece of junk.

8.  People with a "can't do" attitude.  Charlie Sheen said one thing right.  The slogan is Just Do It.  We do it and we do it hard.  If you say "I can't" very much, you won't be around long because you'll hate Crossfit.

7.   Personal fan with water spritzers.  Instead, we use the sweat flying off the person next to us.  Secretly, I love those damn things though.

6.  A working elliptical machine.  I realized #9 was wrong.  We might actually take a broken elliptical.  Except we'll strap a rope to it and pull it through the parking lot as part of a WOD.

5.  Bird legged muscle men.  If your arms are twice the circumference as your thigh, you won't survive a month given all the squatting, cleaning and other leg stuff we do.

4.  People judging you regardless of your fitness and ability.  I was 300 lbs, 40 years old with only 1 fully functional arm.  I was NEVER made to feel uncomfortable by anything except the WODs.  I think people cheer louder for the last finisher than the first.  Everyone at the box sucked when they started, so we want to help you get better.  Save your embarrassment for when you drink too much at the office party.

3.  TVs - see #10.  If you want to watch TV at Crossfit, you'll need to hang out in the kiddie room.

2. "The Social Gym Rat" - he or she cannot exist at Crossfit.  We require work, hard work.  After standing around for a few day of WODs, I guarantee even the thickest skinned SGR will begin feeling outta place and be back to Steam rooms and Stairmasters.

1. Annual Contracts - Chances are you've joined a gym with a year long contract at some point in your life.  You'll never find this at Crossfit.  Typically people either love it or hate it.  If you hate it, we don't want your money bad enough for you to be in the way during a WOD.  If you love it, well, why the hell would we need to sign you to a contract?

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