Monday, December 19, 2011

Guide for Newbies - How to Avoid Injury

Yes, my blog has been a dead zone.  Call it creative differences with my brain... but I've had a couple of inspiring moments at the "box" of late.

First, a story that is not meant to embarrass anyone, but point out my sense of humor at my situation.  I visited the "south" box this last week because I wanted to see how it was going "down there".  Needless to say, I knew very few people.  I went about the normal warm ups and then set up my bar for a pull-up, power clean, box jumping WOD.  After a few power cleans at WOD weight, a fellow teammate complimented me and then asked... "Are you going to do that with one arm?"

My answer... yes.  Editors note: (the guy writing the blog really doesn't have much of a choice.)  It was a great question.  I guess I don't realize how hard it is to tell if/what limitations I have.  Some WODs hide it and in others, it's pretty obvious.  The guy had never seen me workout before, so how could he have known.  It was a valid, insightful question.  So... when you do see me, DON'T ever, ever be afraid to ask me anything.  I've had this all my life.  I don't know any different, but I know it's a curiosity to most everyone else.  Hell I get nervous around people with nubs for hands and gimpy legs (not meant as a joke). It's normal.  Don't be afraid, I don't bite... unless you take my bar.

Alright, HOW TO AVOID INJURY for newbies:

10.  Learn there are two proper positions for the pull-up bands.  Knees and foot.  Crotch is not one of the proper positions.
9. Ensure you take a pre-WOD pee (and dump if needed).   Trust me, nothing worse than a strained muscle from holding that puppy in the entire WOD.
8.  Do not forget you just threw a wall ball in the air.  If you have ADD, you may need to take an extra hit of meds before a WB WOD.  20lbs to the noggin is a little like a James Harrison hit.
7.  Do not hang a white board without a certified carpenter helping you... right Trevor?
6.  Ensure you have the proper protein drink mixed, in the fridge, and ready to consume IMMEDIATELY after the WOD is over.
5.  Get to know the person before complementing their snatch or asking them to watch you jerk.
4.  Avoid Alonzo's Mobility WODs like the plague.  Nothing like stretching to make you hurt.
3.  Buy a separate pair of shoes for each movement.  Currently, I have wall ball shoes, box jump shoes, oly lift shoes, running shoes, pull-up shoes, KB swing shoes.  I hear they just introduced Ring Dip shoes (not sure what the technology is yet), so I guess Santa better get his shit together and bring me a pair.  The only thing is that it really kills my time is changing the damn things during the WOD.  Oh well, it's a small price to pay for being in the right gear.
2.  Don't eat sausage balls that have been left, unrefrigerated, at the North gym for three days on the plate of cookies from the local chiropractor.

And finally....

1. Don't take my bar.

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