Tuesday, February 14, 2012

V-Day Edition: Double-Unders are Like Being a Husband

When you first realize jumping rope is fun, you get all excited.  We hop around like it is so neat.  Doing regular old rope jumping is like being a boyfriend.  How apropos we call it "singles".  We play around with being "single" for a while.  We get a rhythm going.  We become fast and consistent and know EXACTLY the effort it takes to keep singles up indefinitely.  Likewise, you are a damn good boyfriend, hitting all the important dates in stride, saying the right things, planning the right night out.

But the whole time, the "singles" are watching the people doing "double unders" and thinking... "I should be doing double unders too."  At some point, a boyfriend starts looking around at all the husbands and thinks... "I should become a husband too."  With DUs, you think you can start slowly, kinda like a couple  moving in together.  After a while, you realize it isn't the same.  You have to commit at just DOING THEM to really learn how.  You commit:  you speed up the rope, heighten your jump, grit your teeth and go for it.  But you TOTALLY SUCK.  "Holy shit." you think, "what the hell did I just try to do?"  Yeah... becoming a husband feels exactly the same way.

How DUs are like being a Husband
- It looks easy.
- It ain't.
- It can take your breath away.... for a long time.
- Some days you are awesome at it, but you have NO idea why.
- Other days you totally suck at it, and you have NO idea why.
- Sometimes you get whipped in places you shouldn't.
- You walk around with more whelps than a Singapore criminal.
- When it isn't working, you throw things.
- They are hard work.
- But at the end of the the day it is TOTALLY worth it.

Happy Valentines Day suckers.

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